Lick The Bowl Kind Of Good

Summer is almost here! Time to get your mouth ready for all the lovely little gems of Summer. Soon it will be time to grub on fresh tomato and basil bruschetta, sauteed squash, and grilled corn on the cob. My little garden is in full bloom and is just teasing me with the promise of robbing them of their goodies. All except my strawberries...they are kind of the whore of my garden right now.

I have strawberries galore from my little strawberry patch in the backyard. So much so that I am forced to get creative...which in this case has resulted in the most perfect, easy, fast dessert/snack imaginable! Ok, this may sound weird for some who have never thought of pairing sweet with sour, but I made balsamic syrup and drizzled it over ripe, sliced strawberries. It's a party in your mouth, an orgy of flavor, a mouthgasm...I should stop. But really, it's a slightly tangy, almost citrusy syrup that compliments strawberries so very well. Here's what you do for the syrup:

The Mouthgasm:
Sliced Strawberries
& Sweet Balsamic Syrup

2 cups sliced strawberries
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar (use the cheap stuff!)
1/4 cup sugar

Add vinegar and sugar to a small pan on high heat. Bring to boil. Boil and stir for 3 minutes, your liquid should start looking syrupy and should coat the back of your spoon. If it doesn't, boil for a little longer. Let cool, then drizzle over sliced strawberries. Enjoy!

Ridiculously easy, and so good. You're welcome :D

Rocket Ship Lip Balm Cozy

...Well that's at least what my three year-old nephew said it was...so let's go with that :D

"Cool! It's a wocket ship!" Awe, kids are so adorable. :]
Such a simple pattern, and really hilarious to crochet; I was giggling the whole time I was making it. If you have any family or friends who would appreciate this, I highly recommend you check out this free pattern. Don't leave your chapstick out in the cold! My grandma even wants one, I think I may make her a pretty, little pink one. Make sure you use a pretty thin yarn and a size 4 hook, otherwise you will have a pretty big...rocket ship :)

New to crochet? Check out my older posts!

Appalled? Yeah, I have that effect on some. ;)

I Prefer To Wear My Sushi

I did it! I finished the sushi scarf from Twinkie Chan's Book, Crochet Goodies For Fashion Foodies. I'm so excited! It definitely is a lot of work weaving in all of the yarn tails from the individual pieces, but it was worth it. It's definitely a conversation piece. Plus you can take some of the patterns for the pieces and make all sorts of stuff. For example, I'm going to take the Maki pattern (the round roll) and make a rug or a purse entirely out of those pieces. The shrimp pattern could double as little whales, so with a few googly eyes and blue yarn, I may try to do something with those. The instructions are really easy to follow, and if you get stuck (like I did), get on Twinkie's blog, you may even get help from the Goody Master herself! Plus, I'm always here if you have questions. So what are you waiting for, go buy this book!

Sushi Scarf! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this book!...and so does Lucy :D

I found this other really cute pattern for a little clutch, it's super easy! Plus you can adorn it with whatever you like or just leave it plain. I added a flower to mine. Pretty versatile little bag that only took about 2 hours total to make. You can find the pattern here. I think the next one I make will have a few little sushi pieces as decoration to go with the scarf I made.

I'm not entirely sure what I will crochet next; but I found some really cute patterns on Ravelry.com (it's free)! All you have to do is create a login, plus most of the cute patterns are free.

New to crochet, or wanting to learn? Here are links to my previous posts on learning to crochet.

Had to add a modely shot! Although I think I sunburned my eyeballs taking this picture...OUCH! What an idiota ;)

...You, Me, And Some Of This Pork

 

The beginnings of a happy relationship

I've been cooking a lot with tequila lately, it really brings a nice,
bold flavor into the mix...and you can take a little swig to take the edge off if need be ;) Tonight I made some Tequila Citrus Pork Tacos and what I like to call Arroz De La Weda (White Girl Rice). The pork was great, although I was pissed because I ran out of corn tortillas and had to use flour instead. I prefer the corn, although the taco was pretty tasty wrapped up in the flour tortilla. The whole thing start to finish took 30 minutes, but I was dragging ass since I just got back from the gym...and it's a weeknight. Blah Blah. Next time I'm making some homemade tortillas on the weekend and freezing them raw until I need them...homemade is ALWAYS better than store-bought.  



A few tips before you get started:

• Freeze your pork chops for about 30 minutes before you start, they will be so much easier to cube!

• Fry some cheese on your tortilla to make a nice crispy, cheesy crust on the inside of your tortilla. On high heat, sprinkle a nice layer of cheese on a non-stick skillet, place your tortilla on top of the melting cheese, let cheese melt and stick onto tortilla, then press down on your tortilla making sure it sticks and catches all the cheesy goodness. Let your cheese brown, if cheese is being stubborn, just use a spatula to un-stick it from the skillet, then lift it out with a wooden or plastic spatula and set aside. Then spread your pork and other toppings on top of the cheese crust. Delicioso!
• Don't use a cast iron skillet to fry your cheese. Yes, I did this... this is why my cast iron skillet still hates me :/

Tequila Citrus Pork Tacos
Serves 3-4

2 lbs boneless pork chops, cut in tiny pieces
1/4 cup of chopped pancetta
1/2 cup onion, chopped
1/4 cup tequila
Juice from 1/2 of a lemon
1 clove garlic, smashed
2 tsp chili powder
Salt and pepper to taste
Your choice of toppings, bring on the avocado!

Add pancetta to pan on high heat and cook until juices start to run out. Add onion and tequila letting onions sweat for about 2 minutes. Add pork, garlic, lemon juice, and chili powder and cook until pork is no longer pink in the middle. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Make your fried cheese tortillas as explained above using whatever kind of cheese you prefer. I have tried just about everything but the best is Cheddar, mozzarella, or a "Mexican cheese blend".

Now add your toppings! I usually cut up some cabbage and top with sour cream and avocado. Enjoy!

Arroz De La Weda (White Girl Rice)
Serves 4

1 1/2 cup Jasmine rice
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 garlic clove, smashed
1 cup green tomato or tomatillo salsa
1 1/2 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup water
1 Tbsp chicken bullion or tomato/chicken bullion

Add oil to skillet on high heat, add rice and brown until grains are nice and toasty on all sides. Avoid burning by stirring around every 30 seconds. Add the rest of your ingredients and stir around. Bring to a boil, then turn down to medium heat, you can throw a jalapeno in the middle of your cooking rice to add a little heat if desired. Cover, and simmer until rice is done. Check periodically and add water if needed. Don't stir your rice around until it's done or it will get gummy.

The Saga Of The Neverending Marmalade Monster

I'm just going to come out and say it. Orange marmalade is a BITCH to make! Anyone who happens to get some as an Xmas present from me better enjoy it, damnit. Seriously though, Orange marmalade...wtf?  This is definitely not something someone with a full time job should attempt on a week night!

Since I don't have 8 full hours to dedicate to this project (kay, maybe I'm exaggerating), I've been peicemealing it day by day. Two hours here, two hours there. The first night I cut up all my oranges, thinly sliced. This is where a mandolin would be handy! Apparently I have one somewhere, according to the Hubbz, but it is buried under the mountain of shiny kitchen gadgets we got for our wedding. Too lazy to look, plus I had all but 2 out of the 12 oranges cut when my husband made the proclamation...so I BETTER not have one, or I'll be pissed. Too lazy to look anyway :)

I then added the 12 sliced oranges and 3 sliced lemons into a ginourmous pot (The one I usually use as my water bath canner) and added water to cover. Heated that to boil, turned off heat and let sit overnight. This is what releases the pectin from the rind and softens the peel.

Day two, Brought to boil again for 5 minutes, let simmer. Cooled, then put it in the fridge over night since the hubby and I were packing and getting ready for our Anniversary Extravaganza we had planned that weekend.

Day three, got back from our weekend trip to LA and measured the cooked fruit and added 2/3 of that amount of sugar. I added the sugar to my orange/water mixture and brought that to a boil and began waiting for it to reduce down to syrup. Two and a half hours later...it still wasn't syrup! Or at least I didn't think it was syrup. Left it on the stove since it was 10pm and didn't have time for it to cool. Woke up the next morning and threw the pot in the fridge since I had to go to work. Blasted work, always getting in the way of my projects.

Snooki Orange Marmalade (because it has a tan)

Day four, brought to boil (again) and reduced some more. Finally...after 3.5 hours, I had syrup! Only thing is...in the last 45 minutes, my pretty bright orange liquid turned to amber syrup. This definitely doesn't look like store-bought orange marmalade. Hmmm, it still tastes good though! So using my pressure canner for the very first time (Thanks Grammy!) I canned 8 pints of this stuff. It may be ugly, off-color, and the rind is a little thick, but it's mine damnit, I'm proud. Just not planning to make another batch anytime soon!

Oh!! Be sure to use a cutting board with wells when slicing your oranges or at least do it over the sink. I did not and was punished mercilessly for it. Those things spew and seep juice everywhere! I thought I had cleaned up all the left over pools of orange juice from my counter (still finding sticky spots on the floor), until days later when the Hubbz reached into the utensil drawer to get some tongs. There it was, a sticky river of putrid orange juice that had snuck from the counter into one of the dark drawers below. There was SOO much juice that got trapped in that drawer...by the time we realized it it was five days old and moldy. Joy...I had to take everything out of the drawer and disinfect it. Good times. Don't make the same mistake, inspect your shiznit thoroughly!

For all my masochists out there, here is an orange marmalade recipe for you to try. If anyone has any tips on making pretty, bright orange marmalade, please share!

Orange Marmalade

Lucy is such a ham! She literally jumped up there and took her position as I was taking this shot

makes 8 pints

12 large oranges
3 lemons
sugar
water

Slice oranges and lemons very thin. Measure raw fruit, add the same amount of water. Bring to a boil (you're gonna need a big pot!). Boil for 5 minutes. Cover, then let sit, covered over night. The next day, measure the cooked fruit. Then add 2/3 of that amount of sugar to your pot. Bring to a boil and reduce your liquid to a syrup, stirring frequently. Seriously...frequently, I was hovering over my pot and still managed to scorch the bottom of my pot! you will know it's a syrup when it sticks to the back of your spoon and is about the consistency of maple syrup, this will take HOURS. ladle hot syrup into sterilized jars, wipe rims, then can or refridgerate immediately after cooling. You can use either a water bath canner with a processing time of 10 minutes(depending on your elevation). Or use a pressure canner at 5lbs for 20 minutes. REMEMBER KIDDIES, ALWAYS BE SAFE WHEN CANNING, YOU COULD LITERALLY KILL SOMEONE IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. IF YOU ARE NEW TO CANNING, I SUGGEST YOU CHECK OUT THE USDA GUIDELINES BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING AT HOME.

bock bock bock (sound a chicken makes)

One thing I admire the most about old ladies is their ability to stretch a dollar and really make their food last!  They are multifaceted task masters that can turn one yard bird into 50 different meals and make use of all leftovers. These are traits everyone should learn! Not only is it good for your wallet, but you are also cutting your household waste and using your creative mind at the same time.  I have become quite good at this in the past three years of marriage; since I'm often too lazy to go to the store after my usual 9-10 hr work day. I often have to improvise and make due with what's in the fridge. Recently I have discovered these Buy One Get One Free chub packs of chicken breasts at my local grocery store. They come pre-seasoned too, which adds another interesting variable to the mix. I bought one pack of Garlic & Peppercorn seasoned blend, and got the pack of Malibu seasoned chicken for free. These are great because the seasonings are pretty basic and you can use them for just about any purpose your heart desires. Below are three different, easy recipes for chicken that are winners in my household. The first two are made in under 30 minutes...suck it, Rachel Ray ;)

Day 1

Using the Garlic & Peppercorn seasoned breasts, I made Chicken Tortilla soup. The whole thing took about 30 minutes from start to finish. I just kind of winged the recipe, but glad I still remember it, because it's pretty great, if I do say so myself.

Chicken Tortilla Soup

1-2 lb chicken breasts, cut into 1" cubes
1/2 cup onion, chopped to desired thickness
1 clove of garlic, pressed
2 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp parsley
1 qt chicken broth
1 small can of tomato paste
2 tbsp masa or corn meal
Salt and pepper to taste

Ingredients for Toppings (optional)
avocados
corn tortillas
tomatoes
cilantro
onion
sour cream
shredded cheese

In a large pot add onions and olive oil, saute onions on high heat until translucent. Add chicken and garlic, brown chicken until no pink is visible. add cumin, chili powder, and parsely, stir around. Add chicken broth, 1 can of tomato paste and masa or corn meal. Add salt and pepper to taste and let simmer for about 20 minutes. Next chop up your avocado, cilantro, tomatoes, onion and cut up some corn tortillas into strips. You can either fry up your tortilla strips or bake them in the oven until crispy. I fried mine in about 1tbsp of olive oil and let them drain on a paper towel. Now you can set up a Topping Station with your chopped avocado, cheese, sour cream, tortilla strips, diced tomatoes, onions, and cilantro. This way everyone can add whatever toppings they feel like :)

Day 2

The next day, with my left over chicken (I had about 1.5 lbs of chicken left over) I made Chicken Alfredo with a really easy Alfredo sauce that is ridiculously yummy. That took about 20 minutes. If you have leftover sauce you can always make cheesy Alfredo bread or a broccoli in Alfredo sauce....trust me you will want to makes a lot of this sauce, it's pretty damn amazing.

Fettuccine de Chicken Alfredo

Sauteed Chicken
1 tbsp olive oil
1/4 cup chopped onion
1-2 lbs chicken breasts, cut into 1" cubes
1 clove of garlic, pressed
1/2 cup shitty white wine you would never drink

Salt and Pepper to taste

Creamy Alfredo Sauce
1 pint heavy whipping cream (Waistline unapproved)
2 tbsp cream cheese
1/2 cup butter
1 tsp garlic powder
3/4 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
1 tbsp of parsley
Salt and Pepper to taste.

 Start your pot of boiling water for your noodles.

Heat olive oil over high heat in a medium sized skillet and add onion. Saute until translucent. Add chicken and garlic and white wine. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cook on high heat until chicken is done. To avoid over cooking your chicken, cook until you can see no pink on the outside of any of your chicken pieces, every couple of minutes after that break open the largest piece and check for pink. When the middle is white, but still juicy, remove from heat. Don't want rubbery chicken!

In a saucepan add cream, cream cheese, butter, garlic, Parmesan cheese and parsley, constantly stir over medium-high heat until cream cheese dissolves and the parm cheese starts to melt. Add salt and pepper to taste (I usually don't add salt since the parm cheese adds enough salt for my taste).Turn down heat to medium, stir frequently for 20 minutes or until your sauce thickens. At ten minutes, add dry fettuccine noodles to your pot of boiling water. Cook to preferred doneness(is that a word?). If you use the fresh fettuccine noodles that you get in the refrigerator section at the store (which I highly recommend) start at 2 minutes.

** don't cook sauce too long after it thickens or your butter will separate from your cream, leaving a curdled looking, greasy mess. I did this once when trying to replicate the Rice a Roni Alfredo noodles. I added my dry noodles to the cooking cream sauce, cooked until noodles were soft, and had the above mentioned grease fest...not pretty or appetizing whatsoever.**

Now you can assemble your plates. I like to keep everything separate, that way I can add more or less chicken to my pasta depending on my mood. Then if I have leftover chicken, I can use it for a salad the next day, and I can use the leftover sauce to put on garlic bread or over broccoli.


Day 3

A few days later, had some extra cream left over so I made another batch of Alfredo sauce, bought some pizza dough, and made Smokey Alfredo Shrimp/Chicken Calazones.  You can use a pizza stone, which works best, or just use a regular baking sheet. Just be careful to line the bottom rack on your stove with  tin foil or another baking sheet so the cheese and juices from the calazones don't drip onto the heating element. (this is from experience in case you were wondering:/)

You don't have to do both chicken and shrimp, I happen to love the little crustaceans, but my hubby can't stand them; which is why I made him a chicken calazone.

Smokey Alfredo Shrimp/Chicken Calazones

Sauteed chicken/shrimp
1/2 cup chopped uncooked bacon or pancetta
1/4 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, pressed
1-2lbs chicken or shrimp

Salt and Pepper to taste

Alfredo sauce
See above

Other ingredients
Pizza dough/Pizza crust
1 egg (see below)
Shredded Parmesan cheese

Toppings
Shredded mozzarella
Chopped, fresh parsley

Cut up your bacon or pancetta into tiny pieces. Saute in your skillet on high heat until juices are running out. If you are using bacon, you may want to pour out the majority of your grease (Save this for your bacon tortillas!). Prosciutto doesn't make much grease, so no need to drain if you are using it. Then add your onions, garlic, and chicken or shrimp. Sprinkle on a light dusting of salt and pepper. Cook chicken until still slightly pink, cook shrimp until  almost all the way pink on the outside. Remove from heat. DON'T EAT, IT'S STILL "RAW"! Cooking your calazone will finish up the cooking process.

I am lucky enough to have a grocery store nearby that sells fresh, raw pizza dough, but if you don't have this luxury and don't have time or energy to make it from scratch, you can buy the pre-made pizza rounds and just make a Smokey Alfredo Chicken/Shrimp Pizza (I won't judge).

On a lightly floured pizza stone or baking sheet shape pizza dough to desired thickness. I usually do this by rolling it into a ball than then pinching in the middle and rotating it while pinching, pretty soon I get a nice circle going. One stretched to desired thickness, center one half on the stone/sheet, so 1/2 of your circle will be hanging over. Arrange toppings on the half of your circle centered on the stone/sheet. Layer cheese, sauce, meat, then another layer of cheese making sure to leave a 1 inch edge for sealing. Top with a light sprinkling of fresh parsley.

Beat one egg in a small bowl. With basting brush, spread egg on entire edge of dough, this will stick your edges together so cheese and sauce doesn't go every where. Fold naked side of dough over the topping side; just over the toppings. Now take your overlapping edge and fold it over and roll tight, and crimp so all edges are sealed. Stab entire length of calazone with a fork multiple times (Good stress reliever). Then baste entire top with egg. This will make a pretty, glossy top to your calazone once it's done baking. Sprinkle with Parsley and Parmesan cheese.

Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes, or until crust is done. You can cut off a tiny piece of the edge at 30 minutes to test if it's done if you made a pretty thin crust.

If you are just popping in your pizza on your pre-made crust, just cook for about 10-20 minutes until your cheese is nice and melted and starting to brown at its highest peaks.
Bon appetit!

Cuteness Overload

Thanks to my new favorite book by Twinkie Chan (What a name right?), my head might just explode. Never have I seen more original, adorable crocheted little trinkets as I have in the book "Crochet Goodies for Fashion Foodies." I decided I must make EVERYTHING in this book, but first I had to make this adorable cuppycake scarf shown below by the Author herself, Twinkie Chan.

It was a lot easier than I expected, however I found myself having to improvise as I had this gorgeous yarn I was dying to use and knew it wouldn't be enough to make a full, normal scarf. So instead of making the scarf with all pink cupcakes as the pattern suggested, I alternated making the rainbow cupcakes out of my bad ass, cool yarn I got from The Bead and Yarn Studio, and pink cupcakes out of a really soft cottony pink yarn I found. I am so excited and actually in disbelief that I actually made something so damn cute! It's definitely not perfect as I kind of had to guess on a few parts, not knowing, and too lazy to look up what a "whip stitch" was, etc; but overall I think it looks great! The beauty of crochet is that you can easily hide most of your mistakes. The instructions are pretty easy to follow for this pattern, especially for those like me who are just learning to read patterns.

The only bad thing I have noticed about me learning to crochet is my good intentions slowly start to unravel as my project draws to an end and then my greedy nature begins to take hold. As a result, the scarf I start making for a friend or family member quickly becomes mine. I think I really have a problem. I'm starting to feel like Gollum from Lord Of The Rings...all of my creations thus far have become "The Precious." Maybe if I make a dozen more I will finally be able to let one go, haha! What a selfish bitch, huh?


The Precious