Baking Is For Chemists...And Math People

I for one am neither a chemist or a math person, so baking is one of my biggest challenges. For some reason if I have a recipe, I must tweak it in some way and experiment with other possibilities. That's just the way my weird head works I guess. I must substitute ingredients, baking methods, proportions, whatever, I just can't bring myself to follow a recipe exactly (This is why I always sucked at Chemistry and Math!). No matter how many times I've tried and failed at the evil art of baking, I still find a corner to cut somewhere. As a result, baking gods do not like when I stray from their recipes and tend to sabotage my efforts at least 75% at a time. You would think I would learn my lesson...but no.

So I try not to bake unless it's from a box, but in the spirit of this blog I've decided it's time I give it another shot. I've been stalking this abandoned house for weeks because I noticed a gorgeous apple tree that nobody was claiming. A neighbor had been watering the tree, so the apples were gorgeous and green. I wasn't sure what kind of apples they were but I tried one and I'm pretty sure it is, or closely resembles a Granny Smith...the perfect baking apple. I began to question the neighbor, and to my delight he didn't want the apples because they were too tart. So I brought home a grocery bag full of them and thought about all the stuff I could burn make.:)

I went to the Food Network site because they tend to have great, consumer tested, recipes. Then I found a few of Paula Deen's recipes and figured, if there was ever an old lady to get inspiration from, it would be her! So I found a recipe for fried apple pies, but it called for biscuit dough, and I wasn't going to buy some biscuit dough from the store that had a bunch of crap in it. So I cruised the site some more and found her pie crust recipe. Well, why couldn't I just make fried pies with real pie crust? What's so special about biscuit dough? Well...let me tell you what's so important about biscuit dough...it doesn't soak up the fryer oil. Nothing ruins your appetite faster than a mouth full of warm canola oil. Bleh! Thankfully I only fried two, one to test, and two just to make sure I didn't screw up the first one. So I threw the rest  of the raw pies in the oven.

Those didn't turn out too bad, but they definitely needed a glaze on top, Ice cream, or something. I still had some dough and sugar/cinnamon apples left over so I decided to try something different rather than making mediocre, pocket pies. I found a recipe for crumb topping, so I assembled my pie crust into the assorted tart dishes and souffle cups I have (even though I've never made a tart or souffle in my life...must have been wedding gifts :D), piled in the apple filling, and threw some crumb topping on top and baked them. Those were yummy. So I guess one out of three attempts isn't too horrible...:/

So I think next time my goal will be to stick to the damn recipe! Maybe I'll take a page from my husbands book, or at least make him stand over my shoulder. I tend to look at the small adjoining steps, while he focuses on the big picture. I really need to take a lesson from him...or at least figure out a way to miniaturize him and stick him in my brain, because three hours and three different variations of Paula's recipes later, I had a counter full of pies. The whole time I was focusing on improving my creations that I didn't realize how many freakin' pies I had made. So thanks to him, I took a step back and realized it was time to call it a day. I cleaned up my mess, and took some pies over to my mother-in-law's.

Fabulous---> Paula's Pie Crust Recipe

Tricks of the jelly trade

First things first, why even bother making your own jelly when you can get it for $4 at the supermarket?

1. A little bit of juice goes a long way! Fruit is relatively cheap, and a bag full of fruit could potentially yield 6 1/2 pint jars of jelly. You do the math, but that sounds like savings to me.
2. You know exactly what is in your jelly. You don't have to worry about what kind of artificial crap could potentially be in there. Not to mention worrying about safe handling practices at the plant where it was made. Keep in mind that there is a survey indicating we pick our nose at least four times a day, how many times is that at work? In other words, you know your homemade jelly is mucous-free. :)
3. Sharing is caring! Homemade jelly makes perfect Xmas or birthday presents. Plus its more thoughtful than a gift card or a sh!ty sweater they will never wear. Plus it's easier on your wallet...trust me, it will grow lips and kiss you after the holidays are over.
4. You become a true Old Lady (or man) At Heart. It's a special club! Certain traditions are worth keeping alive.
5. One of the most important reasons: you are truly in touch with your body when you know what you put inside of it. Everyone should view their body as a temple...or at least a McMansion, be kind to it, it's the only one you have. Why have a nice house when you fill it with cheap furniture, or shag carpet from the 70's?

First thing's first, good jelly is only accomplished with good, ripe fruit. To find good, quality fruit you must find what is in season. Picking fruit at their peak ripeness is ideal, so homegrown anything is better that whatever you can get at the store since most of that stuff is picked green and pumped full of Ethelyn gas in semi-trucks. Yummy, right? If you are clueless as to what's in season just remember if it has a really thin skin it is a summer fruit, like a peach or plum. If it has a medium skin on it,  it's a fall crop; apples and pears for example. Thick skins are most likely fall/winter/spring crops; Pomegranates & oranges. Of course there are exceptions like the watermelon, and what-not so when in doubt, ask a farmer. Where do I find a farmer you ask? Well for those who live in ag areas that's not hard, but for others who are in ag-challenged areas, try the farmers market. No farmers market? Try Wikipedia, it's a life saver.

Make sure you wash your fruit, even if you know where it came from. I use a special produce soap and use a soft bristled brush to ensure that all the crap is dislodged from my fruit. So, since it is Fall I thought this would be the perfect time to give some tips on making pomegranate jelly. Pomegranates are strange if you've never worked with them before. They have a nice thick rind and inside are little capsules full of juice which contains the seed; these capsules are called arils. I found the perfect website that shows you the best way to get the arils out of the rind. So check out POM Wonderful's site and click on the video tutorial--->  Pomegranate 101

Now let's get technical

Ok, once you have all the pretty little arils out, you will need some cheese cloth, a colander and a big bowl. Take a couple handfuls of arils and put them in two to three layers of cheesecloth. Tie up the ends of the cheese cloth so you have a what looks like a sack full of marbles. Place your bowl under your colander and squeeze the sack into the colander to extract the juice.  Just a tip, the fewer arils you put in your sack, the easier it will be to squeeze (your hands will thank you later).  The colander is there just in case a seed works it's way through your cheesecloth sack. Another tip: if you bypass the cheesecloth and just smash them in a colander, juice will squirt everywhere (I learned from experience, unfortunately). Those damn arils are explosive! Once you squeeze all the juice out that you can, dump the seeds in the trash and fill your sack with more arils. You may have to add another layer of cheesecloth, or make a new sack periodically. Once you have enough juice that your recipe calls for (see recipe for pom jelly in my last blog entry) it's time to filter your juice to get any little bits that may have accumulated on the bottom of the bowl. For this you will need a big jar with a fairly wide mouth (a pickle jar works great). Place two to three layers of cheesecloth over the opening of the jar, place a rubber band over the rim to secure your cheesecloth, then with your fingers, push cheesecloth down slightly to make a little depression (so the juice doesn't overflow before it filters). Then just pour your juice (SLOWLY!) over the cheesecloth and the pure juice will drain into the bottom and all the crud will be left behind on the cheesecloth. Ta Da!

Now just follow the recipe, and remember, USE A HUGE POT to boil your syrup in! Good luck, remember to sterilize your jars, keep your lids in a warm water bath to keep the sealing rubber soft, and pour one jar at a time, use a butter knife to remove any bubbles. Wipe each jar rim with a damp, clean towel, and don't tighten your jar ring too tight or it won't properly seal. As you finish filling each jar, place it in your water canner and once all jars are in, turn up the burner and let your jars boil for 10 minutes (unless you live in the mountains, altitudes change boiling times). Then let them cool for 24 hours on a tea towel, and you have homemade jelly that you yourself made. Trust me, you will be beaming. 

Have any tips for making pom jelly? Leave a comment! have any problems? Leave a comment! Let's help each other and grow wise together as Old Ladies (and Gentlemen) at <3.

Preserving the past, one jar at a time

Grocery shopping has become a chore for me. It was so nice before I actually started caring what I put in my body. I would almost skip down the isles tossing in peanut butter, jelly, and bread without a second thought. The only rule I had was, whatever was on sale was going in the cart. Life was so easy back then. This was until I started paying attention to all the research about food additives being linked to obesity and cancer, and how large corporations were taxing the environment and shoving corn in many shapes and forms into our bodies without us being aware of it. Thank you author, Michael Pollan and the creators of Food Inc. for that!

As I stared at the jelly section for a good ten minutes, picking up each jar and dissecting each label I thought, seriously?! I have way better things to do! How hard could this really be? It's science! all I need is a little acidity, a binding agent, sugar, and heat.  The acid helps draw the pectin out of the fruit when it's heated (all fruit contains pectin, some more than others, which is why you need to add liquid or powdered pectin for most recipes). The water from the juice is attracted to the sugar, so as those molecules combine it frees up the pectin molecules to bind with each other...then viola! Your jelly can set and get...well...jelly!

Even though I could understand the concept of canning, I was always scared of it because I've heard a lot of cautions about tainted food from canning things improperly and after getting on the USDA's website I was pretty much scared sh!tless that I was going to kill someone.http://www.uga.edu/nchfp/  <---so don't go here. :) One day I just decided to go for it. I'll just try the recipes out on myself (and my poor hubby) just to be safe.  I work in agriculture and I am lucky enough to live in Bakersfield (yes, you read right, lucky), so there is always a farmer around with extra produce laying around. Last year I was given a grocery bag full of white pomegranates, a new variety that is currently being developed. I love pomegranates, but eating them can be a real pain in the ass and not to mention really messy. I had so many, I knew they would start going bad soon, so I checked out some websites and found a recipe for jelly.

It looked easy enough, and with just four ingredients, I was on board. http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1723,146173-238199,00.html . Thanks to my grammy, who as soon as she heard of my desire to can went out and bought me my basic supplies, I was ready to roll! Everything went well at first, added the pomegranate juice (which I squeezed by hand) to a medium sized pot, added the lemon juice, pectin, let it simmer, then added the sugar...and that's when it happened! my sweet, sugary concoction started to grow, and grow...Expletives left my lips as I frantically added butter like the recipe said in case of unwanted bubblage. Yeah, that didn't work. I panicked, and as panic struck in, every braincell waived goodbye and shut down. It was too late to turn down the heat, that crap was moving fast. I lifted the pot off the stove, but in just enough time to watch helplessly as it boiled over and blackened my entire stove top. My poor little burners were covered in a gooey, scorched, gelatinous mess. So I cleaned up and started over...with a bigger pot!

I know what you are thinking, I don't have time for this, I work, I am a stay at home mom busy with kids all day, I____. Stop making excuses, just do it! I work a full time job and work ag hours, which those of you who are familiar with ag hours know our work week is usually 54-60hrs a week and no overtime until after 60. So if I can do it, you can too. You will be so proud of yourself after you did; and if you have kids, you will create lasting memories that they will always remember. Yes kids are great, they make perfect little slaves...helpers:). Kids could easily do the pomegranate juicing, which is the most time consuming part. Just slather the counter tops in PAM, let them work over the sink, and hose them down in the backyard when they are done. In the next post I will go over juicing pomegranates and the actual jelly making process.)

Here are the basic items you will need to start canning.

A. wire rack thingy that you put your jars in. Holds six at a time. You must have this because water needs to circulate all around the jar for adequate sealing.
B. Funnel thingy, makes pouring liquid into jars a lot easier
C. Jar grabber. Make sure to grab jars with curvy looking end, don't be an idiot like I was! haha.
D. Ridiculously large pot.
E. Booze! you will need it after your first canning session (trust me, it does get easier!)

Cool thing is, now you can find this stuff at the grocery store! I saw this starter kit at Albertsons (SoCal grocery chain) last week. You can also get fancy little magnetic lid grabbers, but I just use tongs. You will also need a LARGE pot for boiling your sticky goo, a ladle, plenty of clean tea towels, some cheese cloth (used for juicing), a spoon rest, sterilized jars (I recommend using the 1/2 pint jars to start), lids/rims, another smaller pot to simmer lids(I'll explain later), oh, and more booze! :)

Coming up next!
I will go into more detail for those of you actually wanting to try and can on your own. Don't be scared, like I said if I can figure it out, so can you! I will go over Pomegranate jelly, Jalapeno jelly, Tomato canning, canning your own sauce and salsa, and pickles. As long as you can acidic stuff, a basic water canner is all you need. Stay tuned

Blogs to get you motivated:
http://www.foodincmovie.com/
http://www.fooducate.com/blog/
http://www.ewg.org/

Intro!

Welcome! My name is Candice and I am 25 years old. Like many other kids in America, I grew up with my own personal chef who I liked to call by his proper name, Chef Boyardee. Yes, we are a culture of convenience but at what cost? Now that I am married and will eventually start a family of my own, do I really want them consuming cheese product and high fructose corn syrup on a regular basis? I decided that change starts with me. Convenience is necessary a lot of the time, but to truly appreciate life, I feel you must let it simmer and savor it slowly. I wasn't sure where to even begin, there are so many things that I could learn and do myself. I decided to start with food, you can never go wrong with homemade food!

I began breaking down what "from scratch" actually means. I started looking at labels and thinking I could make basically the same thing at home, but without all the fillers and unpronounceable junk. The more I investigated and experimented, the more I decided not only was it rewarding, but it makes your heart smile. To know you are paying tribute to your ancestors is truly a humbling experience. I often wonder what my great grandma would think of my homemade pomegranate jelly. Would she have laughed at me the first time I made it when I let my sugary syrup overflow all over the stove? Or when I tried picking up the jars with the wrong end of the jar grabber?

So here we go, I will be blogging about my new favorite hobbies and the struggles and embarrassing mishaps that go with learning such strange new arts. My goal is to help those who are as clueless as I am. Together we will learn by trial, error and occasional research (asking Grammy). I have already started learning to garden and  basic canning and this year my main goal is learn to sew, crochet, bake and all other things that little old ladies are known for. Hopefully you will use this as a tool and learn along with me. Let's get back to the basics! :)